Plastic

Just when you think you’re done babbling. 

How much of you

wasn’t plastic?

I would have given you the world if you could hold it. But your hands are too stiff to grasp onto what I have you and your eyes are fixated on the space over my head.

You Star, Bright Star

Realizing your self-worth when you’ve been cast aside. 

You are a star. The sun. You are the sun.

He saw how bright you were. How you smiled so big and laughed so loud. He knew that you were so smart and well-read and you were passionate about all sorts of things. Your kindness and capacity for love was resounding in the space he kept between you. He could see your brightness from miles away.

But he didn’t want to give you your solar system. He knew that you deserved that entire solar system and all of the moons and asteroids and space dust.

And he was too scared.

He was too scared to give that all to you because that would mean letting part of himself go. That would mean letting caution to the wind. That would mean letting you in.

So, sure, it hurts. It hurts a lot to know he didn’t try enough to give you that solar system.

But doesn’t it feel good to be the sun?

Thief

While I try to get over you, I write bad poetry. 

You think I’ll be okay, you think I’ll be okay.

You don’t know.

My heart is on your sleeve. I see it there, sewn on the inside of your forearms with all the other ones you’ve taken. And mine is still fresh, still beating, still bloodied.

At first, I was mad. You had taken my heart, sewed it on your sleeve like a fucking animal head on your wall. You could show people and they would know that I was hurting and that you took the power.

I never thought that perhaps someone had done that to you. That your own heart was on someone else’s sleeve.

So now you steal other people’s in the hopes that maybe you’ll be able to love someone someday.

(News flash: you don’t just take someone’s love, you give it back)

Little Boy

A response to the question of can we just be friends.

When you smiled for me, I smiled back.

So let’s keep smiling, please.

They will not be the same smiles. I know.

I know they will not be the same glimmers of knowingness of want of nervousness.

They will not be the rememberwhenitouchedyouandyoulikeditandnooneknowsbutus smiles.

Please keep smiling at me though. Please keep smiling so I smile back.

Little, little boy.

resolute

So, today being the first day of 2015 (halfway through the decade!), I began my resolutions.

I woke up at about 9:30 and then scurried off to a barre class with one of my best friends, Christina. I have taken a barre class before, but in the much more classical sense of the term. It was all focused on ballet. This class though was at Pure Barre. Pure Barre is a barre studio that does the classical barre work and ten times more. It basically makes your muscles burn until you fall apart while you listen to pop songs you can’t name.

I was so excited to try Pure Barre after my mother had told me about it. I was not disappointed. I am sore as the dickens. Hopefully, I’ll be able to return tomorrow and claim my monthly membership. While participating in the class, listening to the teacher, Ashley, count us down as we squeezed a ball between our thighs, I was struck by the camraderie of the situation. Even if Christina had not been there, there was definitely a forward thinking energy of the group.

I think Pure Barre is going to be a huge component in how I lose weight this upcoming year.

Afterward, Steens and treated ourselves to humongous, Everest-sized salads at Blue Door Farm Stand. I am barely exaggerating. These salads were mountainous. I got their Sesame Chicken salad which had a pile of arugula and water cress skyrocketing in the middle and it was garnished (heavily and exquisitely) with carrots, bean sprouts, radishes and watermelon radishes, cucumbers, sweet peppers, red cabbage, and spicy sesame chicken drenched in this wonderful sesame dressing. Like just look at this thing.

The Everest of Salads

And to top off the day, I went to church because today is a holy day of obligation AKA the Solemnity of Mary.

So now, very humbled, full of good food, and sore to my core, I feel like 2015 might just be my year.

journey.

The sad truth of why I started blogging in the format of a haiku. 

all i wanted 

was to write a travel blog

but i rarely go anywhere particularly unusual

Me, I Guess

So, I’m doing the Blogging 101: Zero to Hero** thingamabob and completely spaced on doing the first post…which was yesterday. The prompt was to just say a little bit about myself. I think my about is a good representation of that, but I guess I’ll just give you a quick overview of myself with these nice bullet points:

• I am an acting student, currently in my first year of university
• I also write (hence the blog)
• I am a HUGE Nancy Drew fan (both the books and the games. s/o herinteractive)
• I belong in the 1930s or 1940s. Or 1920s. I am not of this time period.
• If I could, I would never wear an outfit more than once. #stylebitches
• I hate myself for using a hashtag on this blog

Now, onward to the point of this blog.

I want to be able to hone my writing and start exploring different forms of writing since I have stuck very closely to fiction for the past…four years maybe? I want to become more curious through this blog and so far, I feel I have been accomplishing my goal. Stay tuned for more silly ramblings, attempted works of fiction, and maybe even a poem if I write anything not too shitty.

Thank friends. Please put up with my for the next thirty days while I try and better my blog.

 

**The title only makes me think of the seminal classic, Disney’s Hercules. Enjoy this sassy picture.